The Lowedown on “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” (PG-13 – Theatrical – US)

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Genre: Sci-Fi/Monster

Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom

Or: “You know they just rebooted The Lost World, right?” or

I absolutely LOVED the first Jurassic World! After landing this franchise as well as Guardians of the Galaxy, you know Chris Pratt hit pay dirt with KDRT (hope you caught the Ford Fairlane reference…otherwise that would not make any sense). From the giant veggiesaur to the itsy bitsy raptors, I was giggly with anticipation as I ran into the theater. Did the T-rex do the damage it was supposed to, or did it not think things through because it had a big head and little arms (Meet the Robinsons…tell me you saw that!)? Well, let’s watch them in the side mirror as we drive into a Lowedown…remember before I start that objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Cast=10

It looks like the ones that survived the first movie (except he kiddies) are all back for the fallen kingdom. You got Chris Pratt for three points, Bryce Dallas Howard and enter Jeff Goldblum for two each, Ted Levine and James Cromwell add one point…and then a special two point bonus to BD Wong for being the mad scientist throughout this entire franchise. Ten points awarded right out of the gate.

Acting=7

What can I say here? There is not an Oscar-worthy performance in the bunch; except for Blue but she was totally CGI. OK for this scene there will be running and screaming…wait I have to lie down. It does not take a whole lot of chops to do these films, but it was good for what it was. I, therefore, award seven-count them seven points for this aspect.

Plot=8

When the island’s dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event. I give some props to the plot, as it resembled one of my favorites “Congo”. The movie will not make you wait…you will not see the plot too late…that means the score will be an eight.

Ending=6

It’s not that the ending wasn’t great (well I guess it does mean it wasn’t great), It just seemed like they had no idea what to do for an ending so they just threw something in there. It’s like making waffles and then after realizing it needed to be sweet, you added strawberries. Still, it was a fine ending…it wasn’t a giant prehistoric crocodile jumping out of the water but it was decent. So I’ll add six whole points to the total.

Story=6

Despite the plot, I felt the story was more of a reboot of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” than it should have been. Was it an accident or on purpose with the addition of Jeff Goldblum? Well, I will probably never know…just have to stick to my suspicions. There was a beginning, middle, and end…plus they left an opening for a turd…er I mean the third film. Another six points for the fallen kingdom.

Favorite Quote: “If I don’t make it back, remember you’re the one who made me come here.”

Are you eyeballing me?

Genre: Sci-Fi

CGI=9

If you are giving me a modern Sci-Fi movie…I have to have some great CGI. There were a couple minor blurs, but otherwise some great CGI. I expected a full ten points here but was a bit disappointed. That puts it at a not so excellent but still great nine points.

Pace=8

A great Sci-Fi movie needs a steady pace…if the story drags you can lose interest. I felt it was a bit slow in the beginning, but you kind of needed the character development with the addition of the new characters. Unfortunately, I felt Jeff Goldblum was not even needed here. I loved to see him, but I think the word I’m looking for is superfluous. But hey…eight points is a solid score.

Violent=9

“Genetic power has now been unleashed…you can’t put it back in the box. Well, I will be putting it back in its case every time I watch this…I fully expect to watch this many times at home. Just like a good action movie, I want violence…lots and lots of violence. There is an insane amount of running and screaming (hence the acting score), but ultimately I cannot give a PG-13 movie full marks. Yes, my friends, that means nine points is the most I will hand out.

The floor is LAVA!!

Sub-Genre: Monster

Monster=10

I mean it’s Jurassic Park…er World…of course, there are some great monsters! BD Wong’s character is a sick puppy sporting them turtlenecks, but he can sure mix a mean dinosaur milkshake. Full marks for the monsters they put in here and how they reference these creatures with what we know about them. It would not be as good if there were some more fantastical monsters…it’s important that they’re more believable.

Twist=7

Ah, the twist…that special drizzle of caramel on top of your cheesecake that will change the whole flavor of the dish. Now There is a twist here and it is somewhat surprising…trouble is that I didn’t care for it as much as I wanted to. I think six would be too low for this movie and eight is too high…so that means seven points go to the Fallen Kingdom.

My Score: 8.0

This was a sequel that couldn’t possibly match up to what the first one did. Once you build a bridge (so you can get over it….ha ha ha I kill me), you’ll realize that this was a good movie. With a total worldwide gross as of July 22 of 1.2 billion dollars, it seems that others thought it was a good movie as well. Could you wait for video? Sure you can, but either way, you slice it this is worth a watch.

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